I find myself searching. Normal teenage behavior, of course, but every once in a while I'll find myself focused on one topic; the metaphysical. I go on YouTube and look up the Pagan Pride videos, dances, and interviews of people of different faiths. I go on eBay and browse through their "metaphysical shops", looking up things like statues of gods and goddesses, scrying bowls, runes, so-called "quick spells, amulets and I lazily wish to buy some of these things (however, I don't have an account, unfortunately).
Although the Internet is a big part of this searching, it isn't the only area of my life that I find these topics. I try to snatch up discussions of religions at school, hoping to pick up a hint. A hint of what, I'm not sure. I listen to music that pulls me into other worlds, and I go on Limewire to find the more obscure artists.
I meditate and pray and do ritual on the full moon. I find a growing sense of power as the seasons turn to spring down here in the southern hemisphere. The baby birds, the blooming of flowers, the blazing, cloudless skies make me feel so alive. The spring of honeysuckle I took from my backyard is on my altar in my room; my physical symbol (and reminder) of this spring and our new beginnings. Its scent is everywhere here; it pulls out memories of Italy and my younger childhood. My God, it smells so good!
Still, I feel as if my spiritual path is missing something. Community. I've been craving it for a long, long time now, ever since I moved to Argentina and away from my old church. But now I have a new faith, one that has made me grow in leaps and bounds. Even if I ever went back to my old church in Florida, that sense of community I once had wouldn't be the same. The goals I had once worked toward with other Christian members of my church wouldn't have the same meaning.
I find myself on community websites in the States. Not Christian churches, but United Unitarian churches and pagan covens. Pagans are largely an eclectic community; they believe that an individual's spiritual path is personal, and shouldn't be influenced heavily by another system of beliefs. Many times, the only way a community of pagans "get together" is on certain celebrations, like Spring Equinox, or Yule, or Beltane. Even then, some pagans do not celebrate these holidays. So whether or not I find a pagan community in the DC area, who knows how I'd be able to find when they get together at regular intervals!
Being in Argentina, an English-speaking Pagan group is basically impossible to find. I've accepted that. I suppose I'll have to wait for the next Pagan Pride Day near Virginia. ^.^
But I do crave that idea of being with a group of people who believe the way I do (in a roundabout way, at least XD ) and being able to dance and sing our hearts content as we revere Mother Earth and that strange and beautiful energy that connects us.
'Cuz, you know, I'm just that kind of crazy tree-huggin' hippie like that.
Heck, I'd even settle for some Medieval/Faerie festival or something. For some reason, pagans love that kind of stuff. XD
Brightest blessings, merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again, and all that.
Lisette
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