The Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is the Press Coverage

First blog on my blog! How extremely exciting. Although it is most likely that only a few friends and family will be reading this. But hey; that's the beauty of spilling your guts on the internet.



Well, maybe beauty isn't the right word.



Anyway, what better to post than posting a post that you posted before about something deep and thoughtful? I thought so.



This is an old MySpace Blog entry/ies. All bundled and jumbled for your reading pleasure.



Everywhere in the world you find people who never move more than 50 miles, or less, from their hometown. Especially here, in the 'Southern United States, a ridiculous amount of people are so scared of new things, new places, new people, that they live in the same towns, raise the same families, do the same jobs, live the same damn life as their parents, their parents' parents, etc. etc. It's ridiculous. The cycle of closed-mindedness and fear is hurting our society. People don't care for the world. Either that or they are so inexperianced that they've built this fantasy, stereotypical world around themselves to fill in the gaps.



And what's feeding this? TV. I'm not dead against news stations, but isn't it true that people are satisfied with learning "what's going on in the world" in a TV, taking what's being fed to them by nearly staged performances? Along with news stations, people tend to only know about other countries, other people, other states for that matter, only by movies, cartoons, sitcoms, etc. Therefore, children along with adults haare learning about stereotypes, which is offending in my opinion.



I must admit, it's not technology that's cutting people off from the world. Quite the contrary, I believe. It's actually making it much easier. However, it does cut people off from experiancing the world. Looking back on these short paragraphs however, I realize that this is quite redundant. I'm not going to convince adults with this.



But I can convice my generation. Humans have a natural urge to learn, gather information, experiance. Pride, easy-money, and welfare sufficates this urge. Many teens these days don't want to learn (though we are getting better at it). Why? Because they're afraid of making mistakes. How screwed up is that? We're human, and as humans, we mess up. We don't want to mess up, but we do. Some people are smarter than others, but does that mean that all those other kids who don't care about learning in schools and believe they'll be happy digging ditches for the rest of their lives can never experiance life? There are lessons of life that you can't learn in a classroom. And anyone can learn them if they really care to.



I've moved recently to Argentina. I left my home, and so many people I care about. I moved once before, to italy, but I never had any connections with my previous home. I just...went with the flow, you know?



But this time I actually felt something. I did not try to distance myself from anyone or anything this time. I feel a loss, and I've cried about it. I feel human, not just someone who wants to go with the flow, someone whose emotions adapt instantly to new circumstances. I don't want to helplessly accept that I will never see these people again, to forget the memories so easily. I want to be dragged kicking and screaming away from the people I love. I want to fight circumstances tooth and nail, even if there is no hope of changing them. I want to wrestle out of my mother's grasp just to hug and kiss my love one last time.



You know what? I'm just going to let you, the reader, into my mind for a second. See what I see. See if what I see is something that pulls at you. 'Cause it sure as hell pulls at me.



I want to live.



I want to see the Northern Lights in the barren white wastelands of the Artic.



I want to see the fantasy-like spirals on the roofs in Russia and Moracco. Hear the roar of an open ocean, with no human life for hundreds of miles in any direction. I want to learn a new language. I want to write a song about love, life, and absolute morphine-filled happiness and fire. I want to feel the vibrations of the world's biggest cities, with millions of souls mingling with mine, knowing that we are all connected. Even if some of us never know it.



I want to live.



I want to feel my heart break at the sight of the lowest of human situations. I want to meet people, catch a glimpse of thier soul even if I only know how to say 'Hi', or even less, in their native tongue. I want to speed down a clear interstate with nothing but the top down and my voice mingling with my favorite artist. I want to get a henna tattoo in India, and a blessed rosary from Rome. I want to get a snake for a pet and name him Steve after the Crocodile Hunter--God Bless his soul XD.



I want to live.



I want to learn the intoxicating tango, to swordfight like the great fictional and real swashbucklers of the past. I want to shop in the colorful, vibrant markets in Dahli, Mexico City, and Paris. I want to eat exotic cuisine which names I can't pronounce. I want to climb mountains, sky-dive, bunjee-jump, risk my skin with no remorse. I want to have a Divine Experiance. I want to see things I'm not 'supposed' to see. I want to climb Mount Everest and yell my love's name to the Heavens.



I want to live.



I want to write a novel. I want to act in a major blockbuster. I want to see the glaringly whitewashed, blue-roofed houses of Greece. I want to settle down with my soul mate. I want to raise the best family on earth. I want to make a difference in the world. I want to die fufilled and happy.....and in something gloriously romantic, like an epic battle. I want to love. I want to live.



I will.